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Wanders in northwestern Ontario... | Chilliwack Photographer

Friends, I left the province for the first time in 6 years a couple weeks ago and it was so needed. There’s something about dipping your feet in Lake Superior, seeing fireflies under midnight skies, and sticking buttercups under your chin that just makes you feel like coming home to yourself.

I did so much - I’d forgotten the glow of country stars, how these little copper moths line the gravel roadways of Murillo and Conmee and spring up around you with every step, how Robin’s Donuts makes chocolate and coconut Robin’s eggs and they’re delicious.

And out in the family orchard, we spread some of my dad’s ashes under a red atlas apple tree. He would have loved that so much.

I took his luggage along with me, too, with a luggage tag proudly saying he’d visited Hawaii and his name and address spelled out in block capitals. I miss his writing. I miss his words and wisdom. Grief is something you always carry - even if it gets less heavier, sometimes, over time. I felt my dad with me every step of the way - but that’s like here, too. I don’t think those we love are ever far.

It was such a healing trip, and there is so much I’m healing and have been for so long. The last 5 years have passed like a blur and they’ve carried so much heaviness, so much loss, both for my family and for Jamie’s. We’ve lost 4 family members in 2 years, cancer, the pandemic, health. I felt something heal in me when I put my feet into the lake, when I travelled the old pathways me and my best friend Melissa struck out on 20 years ago. When I lay on the rocks and the gravel and felt so supported by the earth. What a beautiful thing to experience nature in these ways. I am so grateful I was able to do this.

The rest of the summer is stretching out before me and I have so many plans - mostly on healing & new projects. Sometimes that intersects. Often it does, because photographing & sharing things in these spaces is therapeutic for me, too.

I’m still taking submissions for Sourcing Joy and Grief Houses, you are so welcome to participate and there’s no fee to do it - these will be photo essays as a heart project of mine.

The pathway I’ve walked on for 20+ years, Lowkey taking a cozy snooze, feeding chickens, a butterfly with a broken wing, “Pride Lives Here” on my cousin’s house, a field of purple clover

The spot where we laid my dad’s ashes, and my cousin Melissa wandering her garden during golden hour, and Lilia and Lowkey in the field at midnight under a full moon

The Murphy House, my old dream house, as seen from the laneway, a copper moth resting on a wild daisy, my cousin planting marigolds at our grandparents’ grave, my goddaughter holding a small bouquet of wildflowers, making prints in the sun with Frankie and yard blossoms.